Hope she gets better soon. Had to do something similar in 2024 with my father and mother. She passed away, and he's in assisted living. Yes, they do fall.....
Thank you very much, Glenn. Much of what you wrote supports my experience with my husband before he died, but that was five years ago. It's good to have your clear-headed and kind-hearted review. Having a dear person in the hospital at this time of year must be hard. The news hurts, too. Warm wishes for a happy holiday to your family and to all those whose celebrations are an act of defiance and a defence of love and light.
That brings back memories of when my mom was dying of cancer about 15 years ago. I was in Chicago, later Denver, and she was in Florida. Lots of time in and out of hospitals and a rehab facility.
I was there when she started home hospice. It was a rolling cluster until I asked to meet with the charge nurse on her case. I laid out my concerns, firmly and politely. Everything changed for the better immediately. The moral? If you see something going off the rails, say something. Glenn's advice to get to know the care team paid great dividends.
An additional reason for being there is so you can go get a nurse when the call button is not answered. They typically reduce staff at night and the floor nurses alternate between being too busy to having nothing to do.
Thanks, Glenn. Dad just had his third fall in the last two months. Just a scraped hand. He’s 92. Fourth in the last 18 months. First one he dislocated his shoulder and broke his arm at ball part of the joint. Surgery. Hospital for a few days, three weeks of in patient rehab. Second one we had a just in case MRI. Last two, ah, nothing.
It helps having a mom (90) who’s an old school RN. Always recommended. But I’m the driver.
"Take a picture with your phone so you don’t have to remember when you’re worn out and barely thinking straight."
Respectfully, I'd say that if you're barely thinking straight, it's time to call a cab, a friend, or a family member. Or find a place on site to rack out and recharge.
excellent advice. i have worked in the hospital business for >22 years and i was the liaison for both of my parents and my late wife more times than i can count. she was liaison for me a couple times too. of course knowing the lingo gave me an edge as a liaison. for most of us it's not hard to learn terminology relevant to the condition your loved one is experiencing. clinicians give much more attention and respect to those who use their terms (eg. epistaxis v. nosebleed).
Wishing you all well. When my mother began to need more frequent emergency/hospital visits as her chronic condition got worse, she packed her own go bag. She knew what she would want/need, and it saved me (or others) from looking for things when the time was better spent caring for her.
Great advice, Glenn… i would add, “Don’t act as if you know better than the doctor…. Or better than the nurses” You don’t… They are doing best that they can to save your loved ones life
The fact that you saw several episodes of ER does not qualify you to make medical decisions…
This post hit home. My mother also "had a fall" 4 years ago over Thanksfgiving resulting in a T11 compression fracture. I wish you, Helen and your mom well. Thank you for posting personal items like this. I've been following you since 2004.
Glenn, as a physician (cardiologist and internist) for 40 years, I want to validate everything you wrote. The ideal patient is an informed patient, the next ideal is a patient with an informed family. "Informed" doesn't mean random stuff on the internet; we know what's out there is mostly garbage. I've used Grok to give analyses of patient's signs and symptoms that would do a chief resident proud. I sent it to an ED physician in Mexico, after having Google Translate put it in Spanish (turned out they found an English-speaking Cardiologist soon after).
Any family member knows I'm available to serve as their advocate; the closer the condition to cardiovascular, the more helpful I can be. Lately I have been using an AI specifically for physicians and health care workers called openevidence.com. It has been outstanding, better than UpToDate, better than Grok, better than me on anything that's not in my bailiwick. if you have a friend or acquaintance who has an openevidence.com account (they are free by registering with your National Provider Identification number), they can put in a short description of the patient's condition; the AI will ask some pertinent questions, then it will search the medical literature and come up with a better analysis than pretty much any physician taking care of your family member. I did that today for a relative of a lady many of us know well who used to write a weekly column for Powerline. The only problem is, you need someone conversant in medical lingo to interpret for the patient or family member.
These days patients can be really, really well informed, and make joint decisions with their physicians at a much higher level than was ever available until now. But just "googling" will NOT get you reliable, evidence-based recommendations.
P.S. Sorry I missed you in San Diego. I was really looking forward to meeting you at last. Dr. Goodheart.
All my best to your Mom and family. I hope she is doing better, especially here at Christmas.
Second, you gave some excellent advice. Having the go back is a great idea. My wife and I are both in our 70s, and, yes, things happen sometimes unexpectedly. And, to paraphrase what you said, treat others as you would like to be treated and you will pretty much always get better results. I think there is something in the Bible about that.
Slightly off topic, but in the advice category. If you think you are having a heart attack:
1. Know the symptoms and don't expect to have all of them. I never had chest pains, but did have clamminess, and left arm tingling. go to the ER now.
2. depending on location, decide, in advance, if you are going to call 911 or have somebody drive you a short trip. I called 911, it took 20 minutes to get to the ER a mile away (response time and unneeded steps by both the FD, then ambulance
3. chew 3-4 aspirin immediately. It likely won't cause any harm (unless you have a bleeding ulcer) and will thin your blood
4. On arrival, announce you are having a heart attack to avoid waiting in chairs. seconds count. tell the doc about the aspirin or Plavix you took
I hope your Mom does well and has a full recovery. The list above is a very comprehensive and an important one to keep in mind. I did a significant amount of adjunct therapy in hospitals and it was always nice to have a family member that was able to ask questions and understand my position and what I was trying to accomplish. I never was upset with questions but the same question on different days from different family members was trying. Please share information with the other significant family members so that the doctors time is also considered.
Your advice and suggestions are exactly right as I can fully attest. Unfortunately.
+1, on both counts.
Hope she gets better soon. Had to do something similar in 2024 with my father and mother. She passed away, and he's in assisted living. Yes, they do fall.....
Thank you very much, Glenn. Much of what you wrote supports my experience with my husband before he died, but that was five years ago. It's good to have your clear-headed and kind-hearted review. Having a dear person in the hospital at this time of year must be hard. The news hurts, too. Warm wishes for a happy holiday to your family and to all those whose celebrations are an act of defiance and a defence of love and light.
That brings back memories of when my mom was dying of cancer about 15 years ago. I was in Chicago, later Denver, and she was in Florida. Lots of time in and out of hospitals and a rehab facility.
I was there when she started home hospice. It was a rolling cluster until I asked to meet with the charge nurse on her case. I laid out my concerns, firmly and politely. Everything changed for the better immediately. The moral? If you see something going off the rails, say something. Glenn's advice to get to know the care team paid great dividends.
An additional reason for being there is so you can go get a nurse when the call button is not answered. They typically reduce staff at night and the floor nurses alternate between being too busy to having nothing to do.
Thanks, Glenn. Dad just had his third fall in the last two months. Just a scraped hand. He’s 92. Fourth in the last 18 months. First one he dislocated his shoulder and broke his arm at ball part of the joint. Surgery. Hospital for a few days, three weeks of in patient rehab. Second one we had a just in case MRI. Last two, ah, nothing.
It helps having a mom (90) who’s an old school RN. Always recommended. But I’m the driver.
Very helpful and concise. I also hope I don’t need it but it definitely made me think about how to handle things in the future.
Good stuff! Thanks!
"Take a picture with your phone so you don’t have to remember when you’re worn out and barely thinking straight."
Respectfully, I'd say that if you're barely thinking straight, it's time to call a cab, a friend, or a family member. Or find a place on site to rack out and recharge.
excellent advice. i have worked in the hospital business for >22 years and i was the liaison for both of my parents and my late wife more times than i can count. she was liaison for me a couple times too. of course knowing the lingo gave me an edge as a liaison. for most of us it's not hard to learn terminology relevant to the condition your loved one is experiencing. clinicians give much more attention and respect to those who use their terms (eg. epistaxis v. nosebleed).
Wishing you all well. When my mother began to need more frequent emergency/hospital visits as her chronic condition got worse, she packed her own go bag. She knew what she would want/need, and it saved me (or others) from looking for things when the time was better spent caring for her.
Great advice, Glenn… i would add, “Don’t act as if you know better than the doctor…. Or better than the nurses” You don’t… They are doing best that they can to save your loved ones life
The fact that you saw several episodes of ER does not qualify you to make medical decisions…
Asking questions is best if you think something is going sideways.
This post hit home. My mother also "had a fall" 4 years ago over Thanksfgiving resulting in a T11 compression fracture. I wish you, Helen and your mom well. Thank you for posting personal items like this. I've been following you since 2004.
Glenn, as a physician (cardiologist and internist) for 40 years, I want to validate everything you wrote. The ideal patient is an informed patient, the next ideal is a patient with an informed family. "Informed" doesn't mean random stuff on the internet; we know what's out there is mostly garbage. I've used Grok to give analyses of patient's signs and symptoms that would do a chief resident proud. I sent it to an ED physician in Mexico, after having Google Translate put it in Spanish (turned out they found an English-speaking Cardiologist soon after).
Any family member knows I'm available to serve as their advocate; the closer the condition to cardiovascular, the more helpful I can be. Lately I have been using an AI specifically for physicians and health care workers called openevidence.com. It has been outstanding, better than UpToDate, better than Grok, better than me on anything that's not in my bailiwick. if you have a friend or acquaintance who has an openevidence.com account (they are free by registering with your National Provider Identification number), they can put in a short description of the patient's condition; the AI will ask some pertinent questions, then it will search the medical literature and come up with a better analysis than pretty much any physician taking care of your family member. I did that today for a relative of a lady many of us know well who used to write a weekly column for Powerline. The only problem is, you need someone conversant in medical lingo to interpret for the patient or family member.
These days patients can be really, really well informed, and make joint decisions with their physicians at a much higher level than was ever available until now. But just "googling" will NOT get you reliable, evidence-based recommendations.
P.S. Sorry I missed you in San Diego. I was really looking forward to meeting you at last. Dr. Goodheart.
Glenn,
All my best to your Mom and family. I hope she is doing better, especially here at Christmas.
Second, you gave some excellent advice. Having the go back is a great idea. My wife and I are both in our 70s, and, yes, things happen sometimes unexpectedly. And, to paraphrase what you said, treat others as you would like to be treated and you will pretty much always get better results. I think there is something in the Bible about that.
Slightly off topic, but in the advice category. If you think you are having a heart attack:
1. Know the symptoms and don't expect to have all of them. I never had chest pains, but did have clamminess, and left arm tingling. go to the ER now.
2. depending on location, decide, in advance, if you are going to call 911 or have somebody drive you a short trip. I called 911, it took 20 minutes to get to the ER a mile away (response time and unneeded steps by both the FD, then ambulance
3. chew 3-4 aspirin immediately. It likely won't cause any harm (unless you have a bleeding ulcer) and will thin your blood
4. On arrival, announce you are having a heart attack to avoid waiting in chairs. seconds count. tell the doc about the aspirin or Plavix you took
I hope your Mom does well and has a full recovery. The list above is a very comprehensive and an important one to keep in mind. I did a significant amount of adjunct therapy in hospitals and it was always nice to have a family member that was able to ask questions and understand my position and what I was trying to accomplish. I never was upset with questions but the same question on different days from different family members was trying. Please share information with the other significant family members so that the doctors time is also considered.